it is saturday and my hunger is insatiable

my parents buy food when there's no need to, and don't buy food when I need it. i am more than a little annoyed. recently thats all i feel when it concerns mum. she doesnt do any housework at all (of course we help out, but it is still her responsibility as wife and mother to do SOMETHING instead of lying on the sofa all day watching TV) and she refuses to improve her english. she refuses to learn ANYTHING (to continually pursuit new knowledge and learn new things is very important to me. what does it say about you as a person if youre happy to just be? what's the point in living without a goal?)

"arent you going to add pata?"

"what's that?"
"pata. the white thing dad bought"
"I have no idea what youre talking about" I reply, wondering what white powdery thing she could be referring to.
"PATA.... for the spaghetti" she says, starting to get annoyed

"PASTA la PASTA SAUCE!"

how the hell does she expect me to know what she's talking about? HOW WILL ANYONE OF SANE MIND UNDERSTAND??????????????????? and she gets impatient with us when we don't understand the incomprehensible things she says. COULD YOU BLAME US?

i am just so lost. i don't know what im supposed to do. i understand that im old enough to take care of myself, i dont' have to depend on them anymore and instead i should start taking care of them.

but mum is all 'dont care about me. i don't need your concern.'

how can we not care? how can it not bug me when i see her like that? in my eyes, it is a miserable existence. i know she doesnt see it that way, but still! could you remain unfazed if you see a family member ruining his/her life? why is mum so weird? why cant my mum be like other mums. why cant she age like other mums? other people can laugh and joke with their mums but i can only frown and argue with mine. it is extremely frustrating not being in control. not being able to improve anything.

perhaps i would have won the gold medal/award if i had painted a more tragic picture about my life. that my parents think they only have one responsibility (as parents), and that is to ensure their children have enough money to spend. anything else they need, they can buy. sure, i could have bought over the bullies in school. i could have bought sleeping pills when i was 8 and worried about not being able to fall asleep (which ironically, was what kept me from falling asleep). i could have bought anti-anxiety pills so i wouldnt have had feel anxious and insecure every day. i could probably buy a more social personality. money solves everything.